I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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