it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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