also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
