who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
