I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Randomize