I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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