I want to have your abortion
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
