is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
