I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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