I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
