no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
