Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
