chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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