wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
