He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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