He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
