I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
