What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
