So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
