Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
