how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize