piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
