At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
