Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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