if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
