if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I love black thongs
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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