4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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