The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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