ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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