We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
