is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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