I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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