I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
