There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
