God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
