Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
try to milk me bitch
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize