i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
