I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
