Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
