I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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