is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
