Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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