We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
