"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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