It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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