I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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