oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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