WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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