I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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