My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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