So drunk, too bad you don't want this
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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