remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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