there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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