I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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