Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
