did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
