just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
