oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize