There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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