I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
