kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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