dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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