We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
