So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
