I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
