all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
