i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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