Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
