I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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